Hideous pep talks about rising through Sainsbury's

How People become writers, even though they Shouldn't

Here's Elizabeth Young again.

-On childhood:
Many people endure the uniformly horrible experience of being a child by reading maniacally. At least they used to. The classic neo-Victorian Unhappy Childhood that I knew (Calvinism, farming-out of infants, remote parents behaving like crazy free-wheeling gods, no showing of emotion, public school, abuse, the whole predictable sob story) seems to be on the wane. Children have (I think but am not sure) a somewhat happier time now. I do hope so. At the very least they have Wave Machines and Bouncy Castles and those wonderful glass rooms full of squashy, coloured balls. So perhaps that is why there are fewer bibliophiles.

-On becoming a writer:
So you move to London if you can - and then you either sign on and write (if they give you a moment between questionnaires, motivational interviews and hideous pep talks about rising through Sainsbury's) or you try for a vaguely arty job. It is ironic really - all these fey, arty people, quivering with tension at the thought of trying to solicit work when you actually need the nervous system of a clam to survive the vagaries of life as a writer. I am trying to suggest a strategy for aspirant authors in response to those who have sent me enquiring letters (usually accompanied by an immense manuscript about sadomasochism in space or growing up gay in Basildon.)

-On education:
My own secondary education was hideously expensive and largely useless. I learned to walk with a book on my head and to open a garden party, although no-one has ever asked me to do either. Odd, that.
It would almost have been more useful the other way round.

from Pandora's Handbag - adventures in the book world